MY LIFE: Finding Confidence and Community Through Dance
N’Kaiya Rawlings shares how she found confidence and community through dance.
Dance allows one to move their feet and body to a rhythmic beat. Through dance I learned to be confident and comfortable with my body. My experience with dance has made me comfortable with being the size I am today, I feel as though I have to work harder to make it and to prove to everyone that I can do it and I can dance even though the stereotype is already set.
“As dancer I often second guessed myself because of the size of my body. I knew I had the talent and the ability to move my body the way the other girls did but I was self conscious for a long time until I realized that I don’t have to be the status size. One day I will inspire a girl to dance or do whatever she wants to do and go beyond the world’s norms and perceptions.”
Prior to me joining Taratibu Youth Association (TYA) 8 years ago I was not always so confident. TYA is a young people’s performing arts company that uses the arts to teach leadership, African- American history, respect, social injustice, and community involvement. TYA has allowed me to be a part of a community where I am accepted for who I am and the expectations were the same regardless of my own insecurities. The amount of young and older women who support me is amazing. I don’t believe I would be where I am without the support system that I have been afforded. I feel comfortable to be able to talk to the mamas and my sisters about anything that is bothering me.
Through Taratibu, I was given an amazing opportunity to go out of the country five times. I have traveled to Ghana, Togo and Benin in 2010, Tanzania in 2011, South Africa in 2013, Haiti and St. Croix in 2015, and Senegal. During all of these trips I have learned so much about myself, my history and culture, and it made me the young women I am today. It also taught me to always be aware of what is going on around me and know that what happens now is going to affect me currently and in the long run.
Before I traveled to Ghana, Togo and Benin I was very materialistic I wanted the latest Jordans and things that wouldn’t help me succeed in life. When I went to Ghana, Togo and Benin and saw that young kids at my age at the time were perfectly fine with not having the latest pairs of shoes or things. They were content with what they had. When I went to Tanzania I had the opportunity to go to school with people my age who had clean uniforms but most did not have shoes. When I returned home I launched a campaign where my fellow dance sisters of TYA collected shoes to be shipped to Tanzania so those who didn’t have shoes would now have a pair. The trip that had a major impact on me was the trip to Haiti because it made me realize that I wanted to be a doctor. While in Haiti one of our chaperones’ family member was robbed and shot at the airport and he had to have surgery. Members of the community were asked to come to the hospital to give blood prior to his surgery. I did not understand the concept because in the U.S. we go to the hospital and they have everything we could possibly need. I learned that they did not have a saved blood supply system. When I came back to the U.S I started researching different occupations in the medical field and decided to become an Obstetrician and Gynecologist.
Growing up and learning my history through the performing arts is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It has made me well rounded and aware the global issues that need to be addressed such as access to healthcare. It also gives me the confidence to share my knowledge with other people not just through the performing arts through conversations. People may initially see my size but then they learn that I have a voice and I will use it for the betterment of the disenfranchised.